Men Are Just Happier
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
My friend Amy, who is serving in Iraq sent this to me and it was so hilarious I just had to share it on my blog! Thanks Amy, for the good laugh!!
6 comments:
I got that in my email and laughed so hard I had to forward it to my dh. It's so sad but true!
sad how much of that is true--and by that, it's sad how much of the opposite is true for women
lol
There are many times when I think life would be simpler if I was a man, but there are so many, many perks to being a woman, I think I'll stay on my own team.
So true--however I would still remain a woman in the long run :)
This is great! I am just finally catching up on the blogging world. It sounds likie you have been busy! I am going to copy the pumpkin bar recipe! It sounds soooo good! :)
Ha Ha! Haven't read this one in a long time. Thanks for the giggle.
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