Numbing Numbers

5 kids.
4 of them sick.
1 toddler



2 boxes of spilled cereal on family room floor.
4 kids home all day, laying around and making messes.



1 bottle of spilled shampoo all over upstairs carpet.

1 bottle of 4 year olds lotion spilled on the couch.

1 cup of vomit that Tyler dunked in Kyle's vomit bowl!! Ewwww!!

1 cup of spilled milk in the kitchen.

1 Dad working late.

1 house that gets messed up faster than one person can clean it.

1 frazzled Mom.

Some snacky sort of foods I like

As kind of a followup to yesterdays weight loss post, I thought I would add a few of the things I like to snack on. Although, I try not to be a big snacker. I keep my body eating on a schedule. So, my body gets hungry at a certain time, like dinner is between 5-6 pm. My body expects that and so when dinner time comes, I am hungry!! Although, I do occassionally snack, more on some days than other days. When I first started my weight loss program, I did not snack.


My favorite of these is the cheddar cheese or the Ranch.


My favorite is the kettle corn, of these mini bags of popcorn.


My favorite of these is the carrot cake, because I LOVE carrot cake!

Also, I'm a big time fruit person. Apples and grapes and oranges are my favorites. Before I started my weight loss journey, bananas were my favorite fruit. Now I hardly ever eat them. So it is interesting the way my food choices and cravings have changed.

The reason I try to limit my snacking is because it's easy to get out of control with the snacking and it stretches my stomach and so then everyday my body would think it needs a snack. Then each day, it seems, I would want more of snack and even more the next day until eventually it is out of control.

And, I did not mean to imply that I never eat bread. I do. But I eat it maybe 3 times a week. Whereas before it would be every single day, several times a day. When I do eat it, it is 95% of the time whole wheat. I love whole wheat bread and since it is healthier that makes it all the more better!!

If it was something I really like that isn't too healthy, like chips, I wouldn't deprive myself. I would give myself an allowance for it every couple weeks or so. And then I would eat it in those 100 calorie snack size bags to keep my portion size in check.

My Weight Loss Story...

When I was very little I was thin. But I grew up in a family who liked sugar and treats. And so we had a treat pretty much every night! My Mom has been obese since her middle 30's. My Grandma was obese most of her life. I remember being embarassed about that. My Mom was not in a very great place emotionally, herself, to lose her weight during my childhood years.


Me, in third grade.

As I reached my Jr. High school years, I was still what one would consider thin but it seemed as though I just had an extra layer of fat, instead of being thin I was more "medium." All through my high school years it was pretty much the same way, I just had this extra layer of fat on me, unlike most of my friends who could eat whatever, whenever they wanted and still be skinny as could be. For me, I could not seem to be thin.

Well, what I didn't know is that I could lose the weight but I really didn't know how. I remember once when I was a junior in high school trying Dexatrim. I didn't eat anything except for Dexatrim and I chewed cinnamon gum that entire day. I had a nervous energy, that's the best way I can describe it. I cleaned our entire house. I did not like the way the Dexatrim made me feel and so fortunately I never took it again.

I had other episodes where I would try to watch what I ate, but it never really lasted. I went through a period of time in Jr. High where I would run at least a mile 5-6 days a week on a track at the nearby elementary school. I was determined that would change my weight, and it helped but exercise alone was not to change my weight. I was always jealous of my friends who were so thin without even trying.

Of course, my genetics didn't help much. I have this broad face that comes from my Dad's side. So I always looked chubbier than I was. That has always bothered me. And then just the way I am built if I put on weight it is a layer of fat all over. And if I am a chunky, I get chubby cheeks and, what I like to call, chesty. I was always greatly embarrassed by my larger than average chest.

Finally after I had my last baby, I had reached my weight high. I think I was probably 157 pounds or so in this picture below. It was exactly a week after I had Tyler, baby number 5, my last baby.


This picture was Tyler's blessing day.

In the few months after this picture was taken, without a whole lot of work on it I was able to drop to about 145 and then to 140. It wasn't too hard to do that, but still wasn't easy because I was breast feeding and I carried some extra pounds with that weight. When Tyler was 5 months old, I had finally decided enough was enough and I was going to lose the weight once and for all. I was done having babies and I decided that I needed to not get my body back, but to really get my body for the first time. I was 32 years old.

In my mental preparation to lose the weight, I wondered if I could ever really be happy not being able to just freely eat whenever and whatever I wanted. Gearing up to lose the weight was mostly mental. I started making a mental plan to lose the weight probably about 4 or 5 years before I physically changed my diet and exercise.

So it was a Wednesday at the end of June in 2005 and I had just met up with a friend from Bookclub the night before who had successfully lost about 20 pounds. I called her up and talked to her about how she did it. She told me she watched what she ate, cut down on carbs and did her t-tapp.

I decided that I would do my own weight loss plan. I would get my exercise through walking, running in the neighborhood and the elliptical machine in my basement; and I would start with the Southbeach Diet approach of cutting carbs and sugar almost completely for 2 weeks to get my body being so it wasn't so reliant on sugar. After that I started a Weight Watchers approach. I never joined Weight Watchers, but my Mom had been on and off the program so she sent me some literature from them.

I took some tips from various weight loss guru's that I had read in magazines and seen on Oprah (like Bob Green and Jorge Cruz). I remembered learning that an apple a day would be a good source of fiber and would assist in weight loss. So I tried to incorporate that and in the process, I learned to love apples and I eat them all the time now! (My current favorites are Pink Lady and Fuji Apples.)

I remember hearing the tip about not eating anything past 7:00 pm. So that is another thing I began. I also remember hearing how important breakfast was to give your body enough energy and give your metabolism a jumpstart in the morning.

So on Thursday, June 30, 2005 I started my weight loss journey. I was really ready to lose the weight. I was not waiting for New Year's Day, for July 1st, for the next holiday to be over or for the next Monday. I finally decided I was ready!! I incorporated all of the things listed above. And after the first 2 weeks, I started counting Weight Watchers points with the points slider my Mom had given to me. I was just giddy with excitement because, for me, it was life changing. I was more than ready to put my weight struggles behind me.


Here I was in June 2005 (on the right) with an old college roommate, Laura, just a few weeks before I started my weight loss journey.


I have to say that my excitement carried me through because it was not easy. Those first few days as my stomach was adjusting to eating smaller quanitities, it growled with uncomfortable pangs of hunger. But I really had to let my mind be in charge of my body and literally talk to myself and tell me that I had enough food in my body, and that the healthiest thing for me was to eat smaller portions which my body obviously wasn't used to.

At a time in my life when many of my friends were still gaining weight, I was losing. It was not easy. It came off a pound here and .2 of a pound there. I think the biggest weight loss I ever had in one week was 2.5 pounds and that was almost 3 months into it. There have been times when I almost fell off the wagon completely. One of those days was Labor Day in September 2005.

I was just tired of worrying about every little thing that I ate and decided I didn't have the energy to keep this up! So, we went on a family picnic and I indulged in a hotdog, cheetos, soda, and too much Nephi salad (a yummy orange/lemon jello salad). And we played some ball and our kids played on the play equipment and we went home. I started feeling sick, not physically ill but sick that I was just going to give up all that I was working for and all that I had worked for. I was sick that I had lost my self control.


Me and Tyler, my baby, about 3 months into my weight loss journey.

I told my husband the next morning that I was so disappointed in myself and my lack of self control in diet and that I would reverse my course because I was happier on the weight loss path than just eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. All along the way Laren has been very supportive of me.

He has listened to me countless times tell him about what I ate and what new food finds I've found or how much I exercised. It has been so great to have him listen to me and give me encouragement. Laren has never once pressured me to lose weight or even suggested that I need to lose weight. That was very helpful.

And of course Laren has never had to try to lose weight in his life because he has never needed to. And he has a bowl of ice cream more nights than he doesn't. That was fine with me because ice cream is not a huge temptation to me. I had become fat on breads/carbs and sugar. I love bread and cookies!! I learned that I could have both in moderation. Which meant, I could have it if I wanted to save points for it or sacrifice something else for it and then I would have to limit myself to 2 cookies or bread or rare occasions.

I quit making as much homemade bread and quit eating so much of the store bought stuff. When I do eat bread, I prefer homemade because it is very healthy. I grind the wheat into flour with my wheat grinder and mix it half and half with white flour. I use olive oil for the oil instead of vegetable oil and I put just a little less sugar than what it calls for. The bread turns out delicious and my whole entire family loves it and gobbles a double batch (6 loaves) up in about 2 1/2 days.

I try not to keep chips or cookies in the house and other things that I know I will be too tempted by. I try to keep some healthy snacks on hand, like apples, grapes and other fruit, or the Weight Watchers 1 point cakes or the 1 point fudge bars or mozarella string cheese. I also like the snack size bags of Popsecret kettle corn. I have learned I love vegetables, including artichokes when they are steamed.

After about a month into my weight loss plan I remember commenting to Laren, my husband, that I could not believe I thought I could not be happy losing weight because I was happy losing weight and I was not hungry all the time like I thought I would be.

I have learned when baking I can substitute applesauce at a ratio of 1:1 for oil when making most baked goods and you can hardly tell the difference. I have learned to substitute half of the sugar for Splenda (a sugar substitute) and to add altogether less sugar .

I have learned exercise can be refreshing and even fun and that not all exercise has to be in a "formal" setting. Sometimes it can be dancing in the kitchen with my kids. It took me about 6 months to lose 30 pounds and then I lost another 5 in the next several months.


Here I am this morning, about 49-52 pounds lighter (depending on the day)than I was in the above picture on Tyler's blessing day 2 years ago. And about 33-35 pounds lighter than when I started on June 30, 2005. I have maintained my weight for almost a year and four months now.


In this process, I have learned that weight loss does not make you happy. Happiness is in the journey, just like being wealthy or healthy does not make one happy. I learned that I still have most of the same struggles that I had before in other areas of my life but that I could exercise my will power to change the areas of my life that I was not satisfied with.

I am also learning that weight loss is not a destination but a journey. I consciously choose every single day what I eat. I almost always look at the number of calories a product has followed by fiber and grams of fat. I look for not only that but if it is healthy, like I try to avoid things with high fructose corn syrup. (I love watching Dr. Oz on Oprah.) I seldom don't think about what I eat. For me, it is something that I hope I never just quit thinking about because this has to be a proactive journey in order for me to maintain. One of my biggest fears in losing the weight was putting it back on.

I would tell my husband about this fear and he has always given me the reassurance that I would not put the weight back on because of my gift of being self-disciplined in this regard. His reassurance has been so incredibly helpful. And I hope he is right that I will never put the weight back on, but it is something I still work on daily in order to maintain.

One of the bonuses to this weight loss has been getting a completely different wardrobe. Laren has been very supportive of that too. He has told me a few different times that me spending a little bit here and there on clothes (I'm a bargain shopper) was fine because I did not spend one penny on a weight loss program or a gym membership to do it.

I am still in the process of changing over my wardrobe. I am very picky about what I will buy. Whereas before I would mainly look at if it was a good deal and somewhat decent looking. I have since learned that what looks good on the clothing rack or the mannequin may not always look good on me. So, I only buy if it's a good deal and if it looks flattering on me.

If it is a wardrobe classic (not trendy) I will sometimes splurge and spend a little more for it by buying it when the store first gets it in instead of waiting for it to go on sale because the stores usually sell out of my size quickly.

I just wanted to share this since after nearly 2 years of physically beginning my weight loss journey it is still a big part of my life and I plan on that it always will be. I have let it become a little hobby of sorts and because of that it has been funner than it might have been. But I do not want to portray it as being easy, because it hasn't. It has taken a constant effort on my part. But I just try to remember the old saying that says "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."

Family Pictures

I was talking to my Sister Kathy on email this morning and she requested that I post a few pictures for her! So, here they are!



3 Sisters: Kari, Kathy, Kallie



Kathy and Kari at Grandma's graveside.



Kathy, Mike, Kallie. Walking in the fog.



Kari, Kallie, Mom, Mike, Kathy.

And just for kicks, a few more pics!!

Alyssa and Tyler, Fall 2006.


Kyle (6), Kayla(10), Tyler (1), Me, Alyssa (8) and Rilyn (4) This summer at Six Flags Elitch Gardens.


Rilyn (with the stitches on her chin), Laren and Tyler. August 2006. Rilyn got those stitches from falling off the stroller onto our concrete patio last summer. She was standing up on the little umbrella stroller and it toppled right over. The first of any of our kids to get stitches!



Our little Princess, Rilyn!


Kayla, Me, Tyler, Rilyn, Alyssa, Laren and Kyle last summer in Montana at Laren's Mom's.

Date Night

Tonight for our weekly date, we decided (well I guess I decided because he had no preference, LOL) to go to Kirklands. It is this little store with tons of home decor for great prices! I got me a little piece, kind of like a little roundish urn, for my mantel. I also got another item but it is for a gift, so I needn't mention more.

Since we were at the Colorado Mills Mall (and because of it's distant proximity) we hardly ever make it out that way, we stopped in a few other stores as well. We hit the Children's Place and got a few things for our youngest 2 children, they were having a great sale, most items in the store were $3.99 each.

Then we hit the Eddie Bauer Outlet. I'm not too much of an Eddie Bauer fan, but Laren likes them for coats and outerwear. I got him some nice cushion socks for work. I told him it's for part of his birthday present so he can't have them just yet!!

We also made it to the Lego Store. We got a couple of gifts in there for a couple of boys who we are pretty partial too! ;) And we also hit Christopher and Banks to take a quick look at their clearance stuff. They had nothing in my size and really a small selection for that store. I love their stuff, I just wish they made it a tad bit smaller!

I'd say it was a so-so date. It was nice to get out, but the entire time Laren was wanting to come back home since he worked on taxes most of the day and didn't get to get into any of his "projects," you know, house projects!! At least he enjoys those tasks that most men detest!! I should know by now not to take my husband with me shopping! He hates it, unless it is Costco or Home Depot!!

Stake Women's Conference

This Morning we had Stake Women's Conference. Though I woke up at 6am thanks to the howling wind, my bed was too warm and comfy to get up and leave it in order to be at the meeting by 8:30. It was at the Stake Center (Church) about 30 minutes away from where I live. So by the time I got there I had missed the breakfast, but I was fine with that. I had already eaten a half bowl of oatmeal and the stuff they had (a bunch of egg casseroles) looked good but fattening, so I was glad I had already eaten!

I will just say that I wasn't really looking forward to going either. Spending time on my Saturday when Laren's home at the Church sitting in a long meeting didn't seem appealing today, but I went anyway. It actually turned out to be a fantastic meeting!

The main speaker was a Stake President from the Arvada Stake, his stake neighbors ours. He seemed like just another aging man at the onset, but the more I listened the more I began to really be interested in what he was saying. His topic: Marriage. That seems to be the running theme in our ward and stake lately.

He spoke about the needs of Husbands. He said every husband needs these 3 things regularly: Understanding, Acceptance and Affection/Intimacy. He talked about a time in his life when he lost his business. He is an accountant and it was some savings and loan company. It happened 18 years ago. He was devasted! He had been the CFO and Vice President of this company and it went bankrupt due to someone embezzling money. He was not a part of it, but he got the majority of the blame.

He said at the time, his picture was in almost every major newspaper across the country. He had to go and testify before Congress, and it was not a happy thing, they really needled him. Even though he knew he had done nothing wrong, he felt devasted and depressed. He said it was the worst time of his life! He could hardly function. He lost his short term memory. He was visiting his brother in Utah and noticed his dog and asked him if he got a new dog, he said, "No, you played with that dog for half a day the last time you were here a few months ago."

He remembers having a business trip to go on and he wasn't so sure that that particular trip might have been his breaking point. As it turned out, his wife wasn't so sure either and so she had put a nice card for him in his shaving case. She put some other great notes in various pockets of his clothing where she knew he would find them.

He actually said he pulled them out of his shaving bag this past week in preparation for the talk. It was the first time he took them out other than just to look at them in 18 years. He read them to us, one said, "I just want you to know how much I love you." Another said, "I believe in you and you are going to make it out of this situation just fine." I can't remember the other ones, but they were equally as loving and comforting.

He said those notes and his good, supportive wife made ALL the difference to him and helping him to get out of his funk. There were 3 other guys who were in the hotseat from the failure of this savings and loan. One of them, his wife told him to just say he did it (even though he didn't) and serve your prison time because I'm sick of this. And so he did and lost his freedom.

Another one of the guys wives blamed him for all the trouble, financial and otherwise in their life. She didn't divorce him but apparently they lost their kids, I'm guessing the kids went astray. The third guy, his wife turned into an alcoholic. She would go and buy a 1/5 of gin to drink everyday after she got the kids off to school. They would come home to find her passed out. One day they came home and found her dead.

She had apparently passed out in such a way that she got a kink in her neck and it suffocated her and her children found her in their home, dead. The speaker, President Lewis, said his wife was the one that saved him from the other scenarios by being so positive and supportive and loving towards him, even though they were in financial ruin and they were living on IRA's and were being sued for $200 MILLION dollars!

Anyway, he was sharing with us this scenario from his own life to illustrate what a difference the wife makes in a marriage and in her husbands life. It can either be a great influence for the better, or a bad influence for the worse. Eventually, they were able to work their way out of their problems in the situation and turned out very successful at another job.

He talked about Satan attacking the family. He said he attacks men through pornography and other women. He said that in turn denigrates women and it ruins the family. He said Satan works on women by "role confusion." As a result women end up taking big careers and getting caught up in them, not getting married or having children. This, he said, denigrates men and upsets family life. They are 2 completely different ways but they both are effective in destroying families.

He talked about the vicious cycle of a woman getting hurt, then blaming her husband then withholding love and affection from him and then the relationship starting to fail which causes more blame and the cycle continues.

He really emphasized how important husbands need affection. He said it is very important to them just as we wives need our husbands to talk to and for them to listen, they need us to show our physical affection for them. He quoted some scriptures one from Corinthians and one from Genisis about this. He said it is the way God intended it to be.

Anyway, it was a really great talk! I needed to hear it because I am guilty of not always showing my husband the affection that he needs. It's nice to know from a man's perspective what they really need. It seems as though most talks focus on the men just staying away from pornography and showing love for their wife and none else. So it was nice to learn what more we women can do to help our husbands out to be happier and more successful.

Friday Fun

Today I got my kids off to school and came home and vacuumed and cleaned house. I was laughing to myself as I cleaned realizing the cleaning lady came today and it was ME!!! (I have a few friends who hire a cleaning lady periodically. I am too cheap to do that. Although they tell me I would really like it and that it would be worth it and it's not as expensive as one would think! Maybe someday I could justify it...)

I did some various paperwork and computer things in the study. Then I heard a knock at my door, oh yah, I forgot my Visit Teacher was coming today! The other one couldn't make it so E came by herself. It was nice to meet her and get to know her. I spent a lot of time listening about her life and her past. It was quite fascinating! She grew up in Colorado and then moved to Canada to attend College. That is where she met her husband, who was a nonmember but has since joined the LDS church.

She told me how her first pregnancy ended in an ectopic and she lost one of her fallopian tubes. She has 2 children, ages 4 and 5 and doesn't know if she'll be able to have more because of only having 1 fallopian tube. She told me about her battle with her weight and her wild younger years. It was interesting.

In the meantime, Rilyn (4) and Tyler (2) started going at it. I ended up having to put Tyler down for his nap a little early. That was fine since I needed to go and run some errands before the kids got home from school. That way he'd be up and hopefully happy by the time I needed to leave!

After lunch and Tyler got up, I paid some bills and then ran to the post office, McDonald's to rent some movies for tonight (gotta love the $1 new release rentals there!), the "necessary evil" that some call Walmart, and to Papa Murphy's for some pizza. We got it all done with time to spare.

My friend picked my kids up and brought them home from school. That was SO nice for a change, not having to worry about picking them up today!! Kyle (6) came home not feeling well. He says he has a sore throat. I felt him and he does feel warm. I gave him some sore throat and cold medicine and we read the Your Big Backyard Magazine together (March Issue that just came today) and now he is asleep on the loveseat.

Kayla and Alyssa have their friends over and so the house is a little louder than usual. But it is fun to hear all the laughing and giggling going on!

Laren called and said he will be home by 6, earlier than usual - YAY!!!!

Happy Friday!!

Highlights of my Thursday

This is my day so far...at least most of it.

I went and helped in my kids classroom this morning, came home got the kids lunch. Checked my email and did some other computer stuff.

Spent FOREVER on the phone on hold ordering Federal, Colorado and California tax forms. I put all my jewelry in my new jewelry box while I sat on hold!

Ran to the Post Office to mail something where I stood in a long line with both of my 2 impatient youngest children. And then I went to the Library to pick up 2 of the 3 tax forms I ordered over the phone. Argh! I Wasted time on hold and if I had known sooner I wouldn't have bothered calling to order the forms in the first place! Just one of the side effects of moving, we're still in the process of giving out our new address and phone number! Picked up my kids from school.

Talked to my Mom on the phone. Arranged a "late-over" for my 2 oldest daughters for tomorrow. Took a couple more phone calls.

Met some new neighbors who came over to introduce themselves. They live around the corner and have a daughter, who's also 10 - like my Kayla.

Heated up leftovers for dinner. Ate.

I've spent the last bit here at the computer bidding on this




And I won it for $11.00

Now, I need to go and get my kids into their bedtime routine and heat up dinner for my hubby who is due home in about 20 minutes!!

Craigslist

Craigslist has to be one of the best inventions ever! I wish I had thought of that idea. I once saw a piece on 60 minutes about the creator of craigslist.org and he makes millions upon millions of dollars and only has to advertise in a few markets. Most of the craigslist sites are without advertisements.

When asked why he didn't advertise in more markets to get more money or to charge for the ads, he responded that he didn't need the money so why take it. He lives in a humble home in Conneticut or somewhere back east. He has employs only a small staff. He is humble in almost every way.

So far on Craigslist we have found the rental house that we rented for 6 weeks. Yes, it's the same one we are going to take to small claims court for not refunding any of our deposit but even if we never see a dime of that money we still got a decent deal!

In the past week we have given away moving boxes 2 times. Both times they came reasonably quick to pick them up. It was great to recycle them and also to get them out of our garage to free up some space. Plus it was nice to help someone else out!



Then, tonight, we got this really great black/stainless steel GE cooktop for $45. It retails for over a thousand dollars. Yah, we got us a deal!!


PS - this picture was taken when we were testing out all the burners to see if it worked (it did!). In the picture the burners look purple when they are on, but in reality they are red. So despite the funky look, it really is normal looking!

Have you ever found something on craigslist or sold something on there? If so, what?

5 Love Languages

So we had a really great Enrichment night tonight. We had a speaker who is a counselor come and speak to us. He is from Greece and really just says things like they are. He does not beat around the bush.

His name is Dr. Elia Gourgouris. He does counseling, lifestyle coaching and presents at BYU Education week in Provo and Rexburg as well as MANY other speaking engagements. He's really easy and fun to listen to.

Tonight he told us many things. Here is a random sampling of various things he talked to us about. His main topic was the Five Languages of Love. Referring to the 5 languages of love talked about in the best-selling book by Gary Chapman.

The Five Languages of Love are as follows:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

You can read more about the love languages here. I definitely have the language of love that is Quality Time. My husband definitely has the language of love that is Physical Touch. Dr. Gourgouris said we tend to give the love that we want, instead of what the other person wants. We should find out our spouses love language and show them love in the way that speaks to them. I'm intrigued by this. I think I'm going to buy the book and read more about this.


He also talked about good communication and how important feedback is. He said feedback is the breakfast of Champions, not Wheaties. Body language is more telling than speaking, when communicating.

He said the words "You're Right" is the anecdote for pride. Whenever a spouse is being prideful they can combat and overcome it by telling the spouse, "You're Right," when they are. He said it really does something for the prideful spouse. It also helps the "non-prideful" spouse.

He said that LDS women often times get hard on themselves because they feel they don't measure up. He said, from his experience he has learned that LDS women do a lot more, on the whole, than most other women. Lighten up! And give yourself more credit!!

Dr. Gourgouris has also spoken before about comparisons and how the most detrimental thing for a person is to compare themselves to someone else. That is not a fair comparison. We can only compare ourself, to ourself. That is IT! If we do that, it will greatly help our self-esteem.

This reminds of a really great quote I heard last week on Oprah. It was her "The Secret" follow-up show. One of her guests said, "Mediocrity always attacks Excellence." I have done so much thinking about this. It is true. I had not thought so much about this before. But really when someone criticizes you (and Dr. Gougouris says there is no such thing as constructive criticism, that that's an oxymoron) they are jealous and they criticize because they are in a low state themselves and so it helps to elevate them if they can put you down.

He went into detail about how when one spouse criticizes another spouse how it tears the spouse being criticized apart. He told how about 15 years ago he counseled a couple. He said it was the most awful, evil spirit between the two of them in the room during the 1 hour they first spent in his office.

The husband said that he was sick of his wife threatening divorce every single day. Then the wife burst into blubbering tears saying that if he could quit criticizing her then she would quit threatening divorce. They had been married, somehow for 21 years at that point. So the counselor said he wanted him to quit criticizing his wife for 7 days. AND he also wanted the husband to count and keep a log of how many times he wanted to criticize his wife.

The husband said he couldn't quit criticizing his wife. It was too hard. After much more talking and coaxing, the husband said he'd try it. The wife agreed to not threaten divorce for 7 days either.

The following week they reported back. He met first with the wife, then with the husband. When he came out to get the wife from the Lobby he did not even recognize her. She had come in at the first appointment looking all haggard with deep circles under her eyes. This time she was bright and cheery and looked so completely different in her countenance even though her hair was the same as before. But the difference was so great he thought he had a different appointment!

As he met with the wife, he asked her how it went and if she threatened divorce. She said no, she never once threatened divorce. So then he asked how the husband did (wanting to find out from her first, before the husband came in)? She said the husband never criticized her one time that whole week!!!

When the husband came in, he gave his good report. He said how difficult it was for him. He said it was THE MOST difficult thing he'd ever done (not criticizing his wife). So Dr. Gourgouris asked him to show him his log of how many times he wanted to criticize his wife, but didn't. The counselor said he was expecting 50-60 times. Instead, it was 280!!!!

With the guy working full time and running kids around and several other things he had going on, Dr. G figured it out that he was criticizing her 10 times an hour, or once every 6 minutes! Long story short, the couple worked out their differences because they were BOTH willing to change and work on their shortcomings. Dr. G said if this guy could quit criticizing, anyone could!!!

Anyway, it gave me some really great food for thought. So, what is your Language of Love? What about your spouse?

Alyssa's Birthday and Bedroom

Alyssa's Birthday Cake


Alyssa with her cake!


Alyssa blowing out her candles


Us getting ready for cake:


In the middle of the project...





And here is her room, wall by wall. Those little storage crates on the dresser will be put on a shelf up above the dresser once I get it painted and assembled.







We still have to caulk the seams in the wainscoating. And I have the one curtain down temporarily to fix one of the tabs on it.









This antique dresser will also go in her room. We started refinishing it and then moved. So hopefully we will get it refinished and painted white and in there! The previous owners spray painted it - ick!! But, we scored a great deal and got it for $15 at a yard sale!


Oh, this room has really come together even though it's still a work in progress! It has been a lot of fun and a lot of work. I sewed the curtains and the little pillow on the chair in the picture. It was a lot of work to do it without a pattern. Next time I think I'm breaking down and buying a pattern!!

Alyssa's favorite part of the room is the chair in the corner!! Yeah, that's a 9 year old for ya!! But she said she LOVES her room!!

My Crazy Sunday

We slept in until about 7 after being up until 12:30 working on some of the finishing touches on Alyssa's room. We've still got a few more pieces of wainscoating to put up and it's so hard to get that done with the kids up and in there in the way! So, morning came and the kids were a little wild - that should've been my first clue of the day.

I got up and showered and came down for breakfast. Laren showered and left for his meetings. He is the Ward Employment Specialist, so he goes to those early meetings one week a month. Not so bad after being the Ward Clerk for so long and those early meetings every Sunday!

Tyler, 2, played in the toliet while I was still eating so he had to be bathed even though I had just bathed him last night! All of my kids were rowdy and rambunctious this morning. I got ready and got Tyler ready for church. Somewhere in there I managed to lay Tyler down for a nap. We ate a quick lunch and then I put the pork roast in the oven for dinner.

We made it to church on time and even a little early. It was nice that Laren had some decent seats saved for us. Our ward is large and if you don't get there at least 20 minutes early you sit in the cultural hall on the hard seats. Tyler was a little wild (his nap ended a little too early because we had to get out the door for church)and I ended up standing up with him in the back for half the time. The other half of the time Laren had taken him out because of his inability to be quiet and sit there.

Then I had my first Sunday teaching Sunbeams. Wow, there are some wild ones in there. The one little boy who is the most wild comes from a really great family and I love his parents. He just has a lot of energy! I ended up either chasing him or holding him the entire time. There are 2 of us called to teach the fairly large class (8 active kids). It was the other gals turn to teach today.

As soon as church got out I tried to gather my kids and get home in time for dinner hosting the missionaries. Laren had left early with Tyler since he was not feeling so great and has been kind of croupy. I couldn't find my 2 oldest daughters. So I coaxed Rilyn (4) and Kyle (6) out to the van with me hoping the older girls would come, but to no avail! So I drove up and parked close to the church (we were originally parked way out in the parking lot) and ran in to get them. There they were chatting with Sydney and Allison, their friends. I get them and we head home.

We got home with only 35 minutes to finish preparing dinner for the missionaries. The house is a wreck thanks to Tyler and Laren was on the phone wishing his Dad a belated Happy Birthday. (He has the same birthday as Alyssa.) He can never get off quick when he's talking to him! So, I coax Kayla and Alyssa into setting the dining room table. Then I busied myself with making the salad and potatoes (gotta love those potato pearls from the cannery)!

Laren finally got off the phone and helped the younger kids pick up Tyler's messes. We all pull some last minute details together and the missionaries arrived. One of the Elders is here from an island in the Pacific. He said he was actually born on an airplane while it was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Interesting. The other Elder is from Southern California. They both seem like they come from humble circumstances. They were very grateful for the dinner and helped clear the table.

We then had a scripture and sang "Nephi's Courage" and had a prayer and they left. Awhile after they left, my kids found a Thank You card in the bathroom from them thanking us for the wonderful meal. That was very sweet.

Then we had family council. We've had a serious problem with lazy attitudes and tattle-taling to discuss. Then we had them get ready and go to bed about 7:30. Bedtime is usually 8:00, but they seemed tired and didn't even argue that we were sending them to bed before bedtime.

Once we got them in bed we realized that Kayla had not done her dishes and cleaned the kitchen. (My 4 older kids all rotate with that assignment - although Rilyn and Kyle get some help). So, we had to get her back up to do that. She wanted to sleep with Alyssa in her new bedroom so Alyssa offered to come down and help her. That was sweet!

A side note, the roast turned out very tasty and it was a new recipe for us. I got it from a friend who got it off from allrecipes.com and it got 5/5 stars from 125 people!! Here's the recipe in case you're interested:

Herb Roasted Pork
Submitted by: WENDEE H.
Rated: 5 out of 5 by 125 members Prep Time: 20 Minutes
Cook Time: 3 Hours Ready In: 3 Hours 20 Minutes
Yields: 8 servings

"Herb-rubbed roasted pork loin with a sweet, tangy glaze."
INGREDIENTS:
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 (5 pound) boneless pork loin 1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons soy sauce

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2. In a bowl, combine sage, salt, pepper, and garlic. Rub thoroughly all over pork. Place pork in an uncovered roasting pan on the middle oven rack.

3. Bake in the preheated oven approximately 3 hours, or until the internal temperature reaches at least 150 degrees F (65 degrees C), depending upon your desired doneness.
4. Meanwhile, place sugar, cornstarch, vinegar, water, and soy sauce in a small saucepan. Heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture begins to bubble and thicken slightly. Brush roast with glaze 3 or 4 times during the last 1/2 hour of cooking. Pour remaining glaze over roast, and serve.



Whew! It's been a very busy day. Tomorrow the kids are out of school because of President's Day. I just found out that the elementary school that my kids attend will not have 6th grade there next year. So, I'm having to deal with the trauma of sending my daughter to middle school next year (6 months away) and I'm not too thrilled about that!

The teacher I co-teach Sunbeams with is newly divorced. It is so sad. Her husband left her for another woman and then later got engaged and unengaged to somebody else. She is now a single mom to 3 kids. I've recently learned of 2 other couples I know who are newly divorced (within the last 6 months). It is so, so sad!

Happy Birthday Alyssa!!

9 Things About Alyssa




1.) She is tender-hearted.

2.) She is laid back and easy going.

3.) She makes friends easily and she is quite social.

4.) She is HAPPY most of the time!

5.) She loves to do her own hair and most of the time does a great job at it!

6.) She is very motherly with Rilyn and especially Tyler, our two year old.

7.) She has one deep dimple on her right cheek that is so cute on her!

8.) She loves candy, gum and sweets!

9.) She was born at a difficult time in my life and so she has always been an extra special blessing because of it.

We LOVE YOU so much, Alyssa!! I feel priveleged to be your Mom!!!

(Stay tuned for before and after pictures of Alyssa's newly decorated bedroom!)

Cupcakes!

Cupcakes,


Cupcakes,


and frosted Cupcakes!!


And if that wasn't enough, I decided to just go ahead and make her birthday cake today too! I'm trying out a layer cake. The top layer will be yellow cake and the bottom layer chocolate cake. The cupcakes were strawberry!

This is how I spent my morning!




And then I took the cupcakes to the school so Alyssa's class could sing to her. Then I brought all the kids back home with me since it's a half day today.

Now, I'm off to paint!

But She is worth it!!

Six Things that Make me Happy

I was tagged by a Jenny. And so here goes!!

1.) I like to dance and I dance in my home almost everyday. Usually it is some kind of dance from my cheerleading days in high school. Sometimes it's ballroom from when I took Bronze Modern Ballroom dancing at Ricks College. Or sometimes it's just got no rhyme or reason. I usually sneak it in when I think I'm the only one in the room. My kids and my hubby catch me and give me a hard time about it sometimes. Hey, it lifts the spirits and it's fun - you oughtta try it!!

2.) I like a clean house! That makes me Happy!! And what makes me happier is to have it stay clean for more than a few hours!

3.) Long walks. I love to go on long walks with my husband, or with my husband and kids. A lot of times my husband and I walk while our older kids ride their bikes and we push Tyler in the stroller. I love that. It's one of our best times together as a family. That's happiness for sure!

4.) My kids make me happy! Sometimes I think as I lug my baby in and out of the van taking him with as I take my preschooler to and from preschool I think of how grateful I am to have him. He is so sweet, even when we have messes like this:



5.) Living in Colorado where there is 4 seasons makes me happy. I love having changing seasons of weather. I did not realize how much I loved it until I didn't have it when we lived in warm Arizona. Autumn is my happiest season of all because I like back to school time. It brings back fond memories from when I went to school. The weather gets crisp and cool. The leaves change into beautiful hues of reds and browns. My birthday is in the fall, which adds to it's splendor!

6.) I like to dress up and have some place to go!! That makes me happy! Sometimes dressing up just means a nice pair of jeans and a semi casual sweater with some cute jewelry. Who says dressing up has to always be a dress?!!

I'm tagging Kris, Heidi and Jenne to share 6 things that make you happy!

Happy Valentine's Day!

My day so far!
This is what we did the other evening to get ready for today. Though if I were more crafty these would be homemade!





My kids lunch sacks. I wanted it to be a little festive and just a little extra thing so they could be reminded that I love them!



I took these little lotions and cards to the ladies I visit teach today. If you have not yet smelled Midnight Pomegranate from Bath and Body Works, you must!! You will fall in love with it if your taste is anything like mine!


And I think Laren felt kind of bad about my previous post about the dismal Valentines I had last year (which he made up for the next day) and so he did better this year. This is what I woke up to:
this new piece of furniture in my Master Closet.


It was a very sweet card and inside it told me to look in different drawers.






I found some of my favorite things. I LOVE Boston Baked Beans!






And I also got these beautiful earrings that I had to go ahead and wear today!!



Thank you Honey!! I love it all!!

Just wanted to say Happy Valentine's to all of you who read my blog!! I hope it's a great day!!