My Weight Loss Story...

When I was very little I was thin. But I grew up in a family who liked sugar and treats. And so we had a treat pretty much every night! My Mom has been obese since her middle 30's. My Grandma was obese most of her life. I remember being embarassed about that. My Mom was not in a very great place emotionally, herself, to lose her weight during my childhood years.


Me, in third grade.

As I reached my Jr. High school years, I was still what one would consider thin but it seemed as though I just had an extra layer of fat, instead of being thin I was more "medium." All through my high school years it was pretty much the same way, I just had this extra layer of fat on me, unlike most of my friends who could eat whatever, whenever they wanted and still be skinny as could be. For me, I could not seem to be thin.

Well, what I didn't know is that I could lose the weight but I really didn't know how. I remember once when I was a junior in high school trying Dexatrim. I didn't eat anything except for Dexatrim and I chewed cinnamon gum that entire day. I had a nervous energy, that's the best way I can describe it. I cleaned our entire house. I did not like the way the Dexatrim made me feel and so fortunately I never took it again.

I had other episodes where I would try to watch what I ate, but it never really lasted. I went through a period of time in Jr. High where I would run at least a mile 5-6 days a week on a track at the nearby elementary school. I was determined that would change my weight, and it helped but exercise alone was not to change my weight. I was always jealous of my friends who were so thin without even trying.

Of course, my genetics didn't help much. I have this broad face that comes from my Dad's side. So I always looked chubbier than I was. That has always bothered me. And then just the way I am built if I put on weight it is a layer of fat all over. And if I am a chunky, I get chubby cheeks and, what I like to call, chesty. I was always greatly embarrassed by my larger than average chest.

Finally after I had my last baby, I had reached my weight high. I think I was probably 157 pounds or so in this picture below. It was exactly a week after I had Tyler, baby number 5, my last baby.


This picture was Tyler's blessing day.

In the few months after this picture was taken, without a whole lot of work on it I was able to drop to about 145 and then to 140. It wasn't too hard to do that, but still wasn't easy because I was breast feeding and I carried some extra pounds with that weight. When Tyler was 5 months old, I had finally decided enough was enough and I was going to lose the weight once and for all. I was done having babies and I decided that I needed to not get my body back, but to really get my body for the first time. I was 32 years old.

In my mental preparation to lose the weight, I wondered if I could ever really be happy not being able to just freely eat whenever and whatever I wanted. Gearing up to lose the weight was mostly mental. I started making a mental plan to lose the weight probably about 4 or 5 years before I physically changed my diet and exercise.

So it was a Wednesday at the end of June in 2005 and I had just met up with a friend from Bookclub the night before who had successfully lost about 20 pounds. I called her up and talked to her about how she did it. She told me she watched what she ate, cut down on carbs and did her t-tapp.

I decided that I would do my own weight loss plan. I would get my exercise through walking, running in the neighborhood and the elliptical machine in my basement; and I would start with the Southbeach Diet approach of cutting carbs and sugar almost completely for 2 weeks to get my body being so it wasn't so reliant on sugar. After that I started a Weight Watchers approach. I never joined Weight Watchers, but my Mom had been on and off the program so she sent me some literature from them.

I took some tips from various weight loss guru's that I had read in magazines and seen on Oprah (like Bob Green and Jorge Cruz). I remembered learning that an apple a day would be a good source of fiber and would assist in weight loss. So I tried to incorporate that and in the process, I learned to love apples and I eat them all the time now! (My current favorites are Pink Lady and Fuji Apples.)

I remember hearing the tip about not eating anything past 7:00 pm. So that is another thing I began. I also remember hearing how important breakfast was to give your body enough energy and give your metabolism a jumpstart in the morning.

So on Thursday, June 30, 2005 I started my weight loss journey. I was really ready to lose the weight. I was not waiting for New Year's Day, for July 1st, for the next holiday to be over or for the next Monday. I finally decided I was ready!! I incorporated all of the things listed above. And after the first 2 weeks, I started counting Weight Watchers points with the points slider my Mom had given to me. I was just giddy with excitement because, for me, it was life changing. I was more than ready to put my weight struggles behind me.


Here I was in June 2005 (on the right) with an old college roommate, Laura, just a few weeks before I started my weight loss journey.


I have to say that my excitement carried me through because it was not easy. Those first few days as my stomach was adjusting to eating smaller quanitities, it growled with uncomfortable pangs of hunger. But I really had to let my mind be in charge of my body and literally talk to myself and tell me that I had enough food in my body, and that the healthiest thing for me was to eat smaller portions which my body obviously wasn't used to.

At a time in my life when many of my friends were still gaining weight, I was losing. It was not easy. It came off a pound here and .2 of a pound there. I think the biggest weight loss I ever had in one week was 2.5 pounds and that was almost 3 months into it. There have been times when I almost fell off the wagon completely. One of those days was Labor Day in September 2005.

I was just tired of worrying about every little thing that I ate and decided I didn't have the energy to keep this up! So, we went on a family picnic and I indulged in a hotdog, cheetos, soda, and too much Nephi salad (a yummy orange/lemon jello salad). And we played some ball and our kids played on the play equipment and we went home. I started feeling sick, not physically ill but sick that I was just going to give up all that I was working for and all that I had worked for. I was sick that I had lost my self control.


Me and Tyler, my baby, about 3 months into my weight loss journey.

I told my husband the next morning that I was so disappointed in myself and my lack of self control in diet and that I would reverse my course because I was happier on the weight loss path than just eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. All along the way Laren has been very supportive of me.

He has listened to me countless times tell him about what I ate and what new food finds I've found or how much I exercised. It has been so great to have him listen to me and give me encouragement. Laren has never once pressured me to lose weight or even suggested that I need to lose weight. That was very helpful.

And of course Laren has never had to try to lose weight in his life because he has never needed to. And he has a bowl of ice cream more nights than he doesn't. That was fine with me because ice cream is not a huge temptation to me. I had become fat on breads/carbs and sugar. I love bread and cookies!! I learned that I could have both in moderation. Which meant, I could have it if I wanted to save points for it or sacrifice something else for it and then I would have to limit myself to 2 cookies or bread or rare occasions.

I quit making as much homemade bread and quit eating so much of the store bought stuff. When I do eat bread, I prefer homemade because it is very healthy. I grind the wheat into flour with my wheat grinder and mix it half and half with white flour. I use olive oil for the oil instead of vegetable oil and I put just a little less sugar than what it calls for. The bread turns out delicious and my whole entire family loves it and gobbles a double batch (6 loaves) up in about 2 1/2 days.

I try not to keep chips or cookies in the house and other things that I know I will be too tempted by. I try to keep some healthy snacks on hand, like apples, grapes and other fruit, or the Weight Watchers 1 point cakes or the 1 point fudge bars or mozarella string cheese. I also like the snack size bags of Popsecret kettle corn. I have learned I love vegetables, including artichokes when they are steamed.

After about a month into my weight loss plan I remember commenting to Laren, my husband, that I could not believe I thought I could not be happy losing weight because I was happy losing weight and I was not hungry all the time like I thought I would be.

I have learned when baking I can substitute applesauce at a ratio of 1:1 for oil when making most baked goods and you can hardly tell the difference. I have learned to substitute half of the sugar for Splenda (a sugar substitute) and to add altogether less sugar .

I have learned exercise can be refreshing and even fun and that not all exercise has to be in a "formal" setting. Sometimes it can be dancing in the kitchen with my kids. It took me about 6 months to lose 30 pounds and then I lost another 5 in the next several months.


Here I am this morning, about 49-52 pounds lighter (depending on the day)than I was in the above picture on Tyler's blessing day 2 years ago. And about 33-35 pounds lighter than when I started on June 30, 2005. I have maintained my weight for almost a year and four months now.


In this process, I have learned that weight loss does not make you happy. Happiness is in the journey, just like being wealthy or healthy does not make one happy. I learned that I still have most of the same struggles that I had before in other areas of my life but that I could exercise my will power to change the areas of my life that I was not satisfied with.

I am also learning that weight loss is not a destination but a journey. I consciously choose every single day what I eat. I almost always look at the number of calories a product has followed by fiber and grams of fat. I look for not only that but if it is healthy, like I try to avoid things with high fructose corn syrup. (I love watching Dr. Oz on Oprah.) I seldom don't think about what I eat. For me, it is something that I hope I never just quit thinking about because this has to be a proactive journey in order for me to maintain. One of my biggest fears in losing the weight was putting it back on.

I would tell my husband about this fear and he has always given me the reassurance that I would not put the weight back on because of my gift of being self-disciplined in this regard. His reassurance has been so incredibly helpful. And I hope he is right that I will never put the weight back on, but it is something I still work on daily in order to maintain.

One of the bonuses to this weight loss has been getting a completely different wardrobe. Laren has been very supportive of that too. He has told me a few different times that me spending a little bit here and there on clothes (I'm a bargain shopper) was fine because I did not spend one penny on a weight loss program or a gym membership to do it.

I am still in the process of changing over my wardrobe. I am very picky about what I will buy. Whereas before I would mainly look at if it was a good deal and somewhat decent looking. I have since learned that what looks good on the clothing rack or the mannequin may not always look good on me. So, I only buy if it's a good deal and if it looks flattering on me.

If it is a wardrobe classic (not trendy) I will sometimes splurge and spend a little more for it by buying it when the store first gets it in instead of waiting for it to go on sale because the stores usually sell out of my size quickly.

I just wanted to share this since after nearly 2 years of physically beginning my weight loss journey it is still a big part of my life and I plan on that it always will be. I have let it become a little hobby of sorts and because of that it has been funner than it might have been. But I do not want to portray it as being easy, because it hasn't. It has taken a constant effort on my part. But I just try to remember the old saying that says "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."